Unconditional happiness
7January

Can't stop singing this beautiful song. sorry for my execution :D

2January
I'm gonna have to take a break here, as I'm leaving for St. P. for a couple of days and I don't have a laptop. I wish this web-site had an app.

What I'm now happy about is my friends. The people who surround me and love me and whom I love, too. There aren't many of them, obviously, but you people mean the world to me. Love ya!

Will be back January, 8th.

#ED14
30December
Approximately 14,500 words
29December

According to www.kalen-dar.ru/today, today's the day to say 'thank you' and I'm willing to!

Thank you, K, for spending wonderful 4 years with me, changing me and being a huge help and delight. :*

Thank you, Sasha Kh., for being there for me now, when I need you.

Thank you, Justin, for taking me in and making my teaching enjoyable and helping out a lot.

Thank you, Johan and Judy, for being wonderful and interesting friends, who are always ready to help whenever I ask anything.

I have a lot of 'thank you's.

#ED12

28December

I remember saying once - not long ago - when I met someone new, that I'll wake up 'fucked up at 3 a.m.', quoting the song.

I didn't after all. I blew it!

I had the weirdest dream today, the Death was standing right next to me, he was a huge man. I couldn't get to sleep, I was suffocating. What the heck was that? Everything was dark…

#ED11

27December

I wasn't in the mood to post anything yesterday. I just wasn't. I know I'm supposed to do it 100 days on end, but… see if I care.

I've been having quite pleasant days, to be honest. I was reflecting on those 4 painful years I had. Not so painful, after all. I was now thinking about them as a time of great happiness, I felt so warm…

YOU STILL MEAN THE WORLD TO ME. I still do love you greatly and think about you. December, 9th still matters to me greatly.

I'm happy we were together. You've given me more than anybody else could have. Our Alice, dacha and a lot of intimate stuff - all of that is always with me. You're in my thoughts, songs and books.

I only wish you happiness, K.
I miss you, you know

A.

#ED11

25December

To the Lighthouse - I couldn't help giving it this exaxt name, I like that novel by Virginia Woolf.

I'm now looking for some 'lighthouse' to move towards. Well, I though I had found, but turns out I was wrong, it collapsed, haha.

It seems to me that people who say 'you're trying too hard, just stop; don't look for anything, it'll find you' are right. I wish I could stop! [working on that]

And Merry Christmas! As they sing in the song, good tidings to you.

#ED10

24December

Oh, this is gonna be short. I just can't thank you enough for being with me on this horrible night. That's the definition of a real friend. Thank you…

#ED9

23December

Hmm,

I'm feeling blue [down, sad - whichever you'd prefer].

Because the Universe is kinda teasing me by sending me all these people which are quite fun at first. I start falling in love or feeling something only to see they're either downright boring or just repulsive. Argh!

However, I don't stop hoping and dreaming. Although my case is obviously complicated [if you're in, you know] but we're the ones who set boundaries, right? Impossible IS nothing. Ooh, there should be another post about Vadim Zeland's 'Transurfing' [not sure about the right translation - whatever].

The pic - I think it's a wonderful idea for a newspaper. I'd love to be in charge!

Anyways, man, you were just Z-A-Z-Z-Y!

#ED8

22December

Holy c*ap! I'd never realized that the relationship I was in was so damaged till I saw this thingy. This is quite interesting.
Well, my therapist said that after all that sh*t I'll be wiser in my next relationship. Counting on that!

#ED7

21December

«

This used to be a funhouse, but now it's full of even clowns»
— P!nk - 'Funhouse'

I think… no… I'm positive - if I were a dog, I'd totally be like this. LOL

#ED6

20December

I do feel like I'm 'a special part of one big Grand Design'.

filled with light and love. purr, purr

#ED5

19December

God, it's happening again. I'm in love.
It's like a dream. I had seen you a hundred times, I thought how gorgeous and breath-taking you are. But you were so far away.
Look at us now. Here you are: so kissable and huggable. I just wanna hold that beautiful hand of yours and stroke it.

Silly.
AFK to doodle your name dreamily.

#ED5
#Ikissedab**andilikedit

18December

'but 6, 7, 8, 10 days ago I had a revelation - all is well right now'